I took some time off writing at the end of last year. After having my PIP refused, I homed in on fighting my case. I wrote a lengthy appeal, quoting disabled acts. I wrote to my local MP and took photographic evidence. I highlighted the lies and annotated them with ink. I got 1984 pages of hospital records. 800+xrays. Medical professional letters. 

But it wasn’t enough. 

I’ve been refused PIP again. I don’t know what else I can do apart from throwing myself in front of a car hoping it breaks all my bones to prove that I still have a condition. A condition that will never go away. My last letter said that I could now take it further to a tribal court hearing, but to be honest, I don’t want to. All that stress, worry and money for someone else to shove it all back in my face with a huge NO stamp across it. I don’t want to do it.  
I know, I should be standing up for myself, fighting for my rights, but deep down, I know I will be rejected again and again. I don’t meet the criteria or tick the right boxes anymore. 

I’ve been labelled – no longer disabled. 

You would think, I would be jumping (not physically) around with joy, no longer having a label but I feel conflicted. If I’m no longer disabled, why do I still use my wheelchair? Why do I still have on-going hospital appointments? Why do I still have Brittle Bones Disease? I’ve been labelled as ‘disabled’ my entire life and now it’s taken away, I don’t know how I should be feeling about it. 
Although right now, I’m feeling pretty all over the place about it, who knows – I might reapply later this year, or even go to court, but there’s been so much to sort out. My mobility car has been given back and my mum has now had to finance a car. My bus and rail passes expire soon, meaning my method of independent transport is also being taken away from me. 
I always expected my benefit to change, I knew that there would be a decrease in the amount I received, but I never expected it to be taken away completely. I know a handful of people who also were applying for PIP, and they have been all accepted. Yes – their circumstances are very different to mine, focusing more on mental health issues but also in my eyes, minor problems that were defiantly played upon for the interview. I was honest and it’s hit me back in the face. Is this justice? 

Don’t get me wrong, I am in full support of those in recite of benefits who have mental health issues, but I think there needs to be a different version to those who are mobile and those who aren’t. The human race is diverse. There are more health issues now than ever before, on completely different scales, so we need to have various aids in place to reach as many people as possible. It’s all been a bit doom and gloom but 2020 is a new start and have some very very exciting times ahead. I have to find the positives in this, otherwise, everything is a bit grey. 

Have you had your PIP letter? I would love to hear your stories. 
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